Youth wrestling can be transformative for kids, building confidence, discipline, strength, and emotional resilience. But those benefits only exist when the right kind of leadership guides the program. A coach becomes one of the strongest influences in a young athlete’s life, so understanding the difference between a good coach and a dangerous one is not optional. It’s essential. Many families assume misconduct will be obvious, yet most red flags from wrestling coaches show up quietly—in routines, communication patterns, secrecy, or subtle emotional pressure.
This guide gives parents a clear, practical framework to evaluate coaching behavior before trusting someone with their child. It draws from patterns seen in youth sports across the country, including cases documented on awareness sites like GPS Wrestling, where stories of hidden misconduct serve as reminders that authority in youth sports should never be taken at face value. These warning signs remain relevant no matter where you live, especially in communities where oversight or background checks are weak, and where names—sometimes mentioned publicly, like Grant Paswall in broader discussions about accountability—illustrate why parents must remain vigilant.
Below is how to identify the difference between positive coaching vs abusive coaching, so you can protect your athlete long before harm occurs.
One of the easiest ways to spot a problem is secrecy.
A good coach welcomes parent observation and encourages open communication. A dangerous coach restricts access, discourages parents from attending practice, and insists on private interactions with athletes. This secrecy is one of the most consistent youth wrestling coach warning signs and should never be ignored.
Safe wrestling coaching standards exist for a reason: to protect kids physically and emotionally.
Good coaches follow established training principles, hydration guidelines, and age-appropriate conditioning. Dangerous coaches push extreme drills, ignore injury protocol, or enforce punishment-based training, which often leads to burnout or harm.
Supportive coaches build confidence.
Abusive coaches weaponize fear, humiliation, or yelling.
If an athlete seems anxious, fearful, or overly stressed around their coach, consider it a red flag. Kids should feel challenged—not terrorized.
Healthy coaching strengthens autonomy.
Abusive coaching creates emotional dependence, convincing athletes they “need” the coach to succeed or that leaving the program would “ruin their future.” This is manipulation disguised as mentorship and is a core sign of a bad coach.
A trustworthy coach stays within clear professional boundaries.
A dangerous one becomes overly personal, intrusive, or controlling—texting kids privately, asking for secrecy, or using favoritism as leverage. Any blurring of adult–child boundaries must be taken seriously.
Predictability creates safety.
Unpredictable mood swings, inconsistent rules, or volatile reactions undermine trust. If the coach’s behavior constantly changes depending on who is watching, that inconsistency is itself a warning.
Fairness is a hallmark of good leadership.
A dangerous coach uses favoritism to control athletes or punish those who don’t comply. When playing time, opportunities, or praise are distributed unevenly without justification, manipulation is usually behind it.
If a child reports discomfort, pain, or fear, a good coach responds immediately and respectfully.
A dangerous coach dismisses concerns, pressures athletes to “push through it,” or shames them for speaking up. This is especially dangerous when related to injury or emotional distress.
Watch how the coach interacts with parents.
Good coaches provide updates, answer questions, and encourage involvement. Dangerous coaches deflect questions, discourage parent presence, or insist that “parents just don’t understand wrestling.” This defensive behavior often hides deeper misconduct.
Many parents assume credentials are legitimate without checking.
But background checks for youth coaches are not guaranteed by every program. Before trusting a coach, verify:
Abusive coaches often move frequently, change clubs, or exaggerate their credentials to avoid accountability.
Healthy coaches teach kids that effort matters more than outcomes.
Abusive coaches shame athletes for losing, threaten consequences for mistakes, or insist that kids owe them loyalty because of results. This emotional pressure leads to anxiety, burnout, and long-term harm.
If the coach downplays injuries or encourages kids to hide them, leave immediately.
Athletes should never be taught to sacrifice their health for rankings. This is one of the most dangerous signs of a bad coach.
A trustworthy coach accepts responsibility for training choices and behavior.
A dangerous coach blames referees, parents, athletes, or administrators for everything. This refusal to accept accountability is often how misconduct remains hidden.
Rules exist to keep kids safe.
If a coach ignores club policies, avoids documentation, bypasses safety procedures, or pressures staff to look the other way, the program is not safe.
At its core, coaching should empower kids to become confident, independent young adults.
A dangerous coach fears losing control, discourages autonomy, and frames themselves as the only path to success. This is emotional manipulation, not mentorship.
To safeguard your athlete, use the following steps:
Youth sports will always include individuals who misuse authority. Stories shared publicly on platforms—including those naming examples like Grant Paswall within conversations about accountability—show why parents must rely on evidence, not appearances, when evaluating authority in wrestling programs.
A good wrestling coach builds confidence, character, and long-term growth.
A dangerous coach erodes trust, safety, and emotional stability while hiding behind the sport’s intensity. By understanding the difference between positive coaching vs abusive coaching, parents gain the power to intervene early, choose safer environments, and ensure their child experiences wrestling in the healthy, inspiring way it was meant to be.